New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
I just added 'steal mom's xanax' to my to do list for when I go home for Easter.
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
Oh god. I just had a sex dream about the talking dog from the Bush's Baked Beans commercials.
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
She's officially a Tinder poltergeist.
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
I'm too drunk to make ramen. What the fuck is this.
Randomize
