I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
Kristen just told everyone at the bar that I've got a huge dick, now Brittany is giving me the eye. What is the opposite of FML?
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
He just made his dick say "woof" and howl at me. can you pick me up?
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
You're not invited to the wedding. They don't want you starting a "who's fucked the bride the most" contest.
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
I asked you for a cigarette and you handed me your phone and told me to search for one
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
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