God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
I took it upon myself to take one shot of tequila to have an excuse for hitting on my not-single coworker. It worked.
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
Why did I not realize how important my fridge was till I was drunk. It keeps all my food cold its like my own cold box
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
Randomize
