If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
I swear every time I make the effort to make my hair look nice, someone jizzes in it.
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
I think I swiped left on my soulmate
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