do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
I hate ovaries. They're horrible little sacs of satanic enmity.
That's the most poetic description of female anatomy I've ever heard.
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
so i just realized the reason you didn't answer my call last night is because the remote isn't a phone.
Randomize
