I think this baby is eyeing my beer
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
There is no amount of alcohol that can make me forget I had a Jimmy Kimmel sex dream
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
Randomize
