In the future we'll all be gay
Did you see that girl I got with last night?
Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
Girls behind me in the library are trying to outslut each other with stories from last semester. I'm about to set my cock on the table between them and label it "tie breaker"
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
This is the moment in my life where I take a fork in the "nice guy" road ive traveled for 23 years and fuck everything in sight that doesnt have herpes, or is in-between flare ups and I don't know about it until my dick is on fire.
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
Well I accidentally flashed a 76 year old woman, i'm in a house full of republicans and Im almost drunk enough to give the gay rights speech so i'd say this wedding reception is going great
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
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