you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
I woke up with a new Tiffanys necklace on. I'm such a classy drunk.
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
I puked walking onto the plane. How do you think my post-Birthday hangover went?
Next Halloween, remind me to find a different wingman. Walking out in your pirate costume talking like Captain Ahab while i was banging her and telling me I had to harpoon the white whale really pissed her off.
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
Randomize
