she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race.
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
Just had to tell a NYC cop I was doing the Dougie in a houndstooth jumper so he could find me in the security video.
I legitimately just had to leave work because I am too hungover. The front office ladies keep making fun of me.
Randomize
