You keep asking me questions like I have this magical thing called a memory
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
She told me to take deeps breaths and I said I said YOU FUCKING TAKE A BREATH CAROL IM SURE IF YOU WERE IN MY POSITION YOU WOULD HAVE OFFED YOURSELF ALREADY and she said my name is Becky 😂
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
Randomize
