someone is gonna have my baby tonight. they just dont know it yet
I'll alert the authorities
My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
I just faked an interview like I fake a fucking orgasm. Wonder if these candidates can tell I'm a tired and hungover recruiter?
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
Randomize
