What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
so you masturbated because Oprah told you?
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
Uggh answer your phone, you are the only one I know who'll be proud of what I woke up next to this morning .
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
I cannot believe this. A potential 2016 Olympiad wants my vag. To which I respond "GO FOR THE GOLD"
you have to be that girl in the audience holding up the sign that says i fucked the shit out of you
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
Three months into our sexual relationship, he comes out with "Your body is efficient". WTF do I do with THAT?
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
I'm eating cold pizza from work and drinking beer from a wine glass trying to decide if I want to shower or just rub one out and go to sleep. How have I ever gotten laid?
Because you're really hot before taking the time to actually get to know you.
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