it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
...Just between you and me I just did Olympic grade ribbon dancing with toilet paper in the bar bathroom.
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
I think I'm allergic to vodka. Or people getting engaged. One or the other. I want to die.
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
Randomize
