Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
I feel like I'm in a astronaut outfit like I'm a spaceman & I'm just floating around cause that's all you do in space is float and I'm floating to be in detail
Houston we have a problem
Dude. That's like masturbating until the point that you're going to climax, then stopping, waiting for a few seconds and then starting all over. While that does lead to an altogether more powerful orgasm, it's still annoying as hell until you get there.
I was not expecting that analogy.
No one ever expects that analogy.
Nothing ruins your day more than waking up to you dogs crotch in your face
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