Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
My ideal friend would be my dog as a drug dealer
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
Didn't know where your dishes went. Put em in the bathtub. They're stacked taller than you. It's like modern art.
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
So I wake up to my ex girlfriends underwear hanging from the ceiling fan and the only thing i can think of is "what time is the game"
Randomize
