Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs.
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
Randomize
