i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
The old woman next to me on the el smells like cupcakes...but she doesn't taste like cupcakes
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
Should I tell them about my ticket for possession or about how I'm shitting blood? Which one will gain the most sympathy?
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
So you've been sexting me while spending time with your family
I'm a family man but I have priorities
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
Randomize
