when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
Just got a birthday card from Camel. How am I supposed to stop smoking when they care?
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
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