It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
I have a callous on the palm of my hand just below my ring finger that is entirely from opening so many beer bottles. I'm strangely proud right now.
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
Morning! Got your 3am VM to remind you to get up for spin class and also confirm you were not murdered by the sketchy guy at brunch yesterday. So this is your literal and metaphorical wake up call.
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
I love millennial parents. One of the moms at the daycare center literally told me she and her husband named two of her kids after batman characters and one after game of thrones
Randomize
