we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
I unwillingly was the ball between four hungry hippos last night. I thought the one chick was actually going to eat me
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
Ate a live seahorse, then tried to order a nacho bell grande from an ATM.
How the fuck do you get to keep practicing as a Nurse.
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
Did I fall last night?
I wouldn't call it falling as much as you tried to lay on the sidewalk and proceeded to hit it face first.
Randomize
