so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
I woke up with a flask of whiskey and a mason jar full of sausage in my tux jacket. south georgia is where i belong
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
Tequila, beer, rum, gin, and vodka all mixed in my body last night. The whole "never turn down free booze" is catching up to me. Hungover = understatement of the year.
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
Nothing brings compassion from a group of cafe workers like walking in and asking if they have a 'hangover special'
You know you're a heffer when you discover chocolate frosting on your smoking apparatus
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
Randomize
