U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
I got drunk at the beach today. I got the word Badass! tatooed all the way across my foot. Probably a bad idea.
do you want me to make hamburgers?
i'm vegan
i'll put lettuce on them
what if every blade of grass was a penis?
There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
You've got to be fucking kidding me. Do you think "Husband drunkenly pees all over floors" is reasonable grounds for divorce? So pissed off right now.
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
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