hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
I'm trying not to drink. I may fall down if I move. This is bad. I had everclear before the bar. Oh no. Oh no. Breathe. Breathe. Breathe.
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
i think my cat just said my name.
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
The fact that I’m not married yet means there are millions of lucky girls out there who have dodged a bullet
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
Randomize
