What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
I just found out you can file for divorce online. I love America.
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
Something about finishing sexting a guy and him going "well. I have to get ready for Passover now" really makes me rethink my life choices
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
I just found three upside down bottles of grapejuice in a triangle around the air freshener above my toilet... I guess it was one of those nights
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
Randomize
