His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
The timing couldn't have been better if I planned it. His mom walked away, I vomited in their mulch, and then his mom came back and offered me bread.
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
Randomize
