Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
You were absolutely insistent that the entire bar knew that it was peanut butter jelly time
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
i need to stop establishing animals as safe words. Giraffe and Penguin are really awkward words to say during sex
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
Randomize
