I just got hit by a car and apologized to the driver. I asked him if he was okay.
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
I just want to let you know that when you try and lie about the "solid 10" you brought home last night, I've got a picture of her and about 10 reasons you should have left her at the bar starting with those martin scorsese eyebrows.
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
I wanted to waterboard myself with beer, but no one would give me their shirt to do it.
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
Randomize
