Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
Randomize
