so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
Things found in my vomit last night: cell phone, Von Hayes rookie card, a boot, my dignity
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
he tried to breastfeed my turtle
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
You made the lady who made your cheeseburger sign the box so that when she got famous you would have her autograph.
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
I love millennial parents. One of the moms at the daycare center literally told me she and her husband named two of her kids after batman characters and one after game of thrones
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
Randomize
