Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
I just remembered you had me meet your law professor while I was wasted...how'd that go?
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
Some drunk guy thought my knee scooter was the sexiest thing he's ever seen. He then proceeded to ask me about duck hunting and decoys...
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
Someone just asked me why I drink so much. Im gonna slap a bitch
I gave him a HANDJOB.
But then he finished from a handjob in under two minutes so who's really laughing?
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
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