i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
i've learned that i'm good at stealing things. like live cats.
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
FUCK YOU VODKA I'M TRYING TO ADULT RIGHT NOW
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
What do you bring to an "I'm getting divorced party?"
.......Shattered dreams and tequila?
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
You should have thought of that before emitting walrus sounds while intoxicated
Randomize
