O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
I only knew it was midnight because i got happy new years texts while i puked outside
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
I feel like I got hit by a truck. And I vaguely remember getting into an argument with a passive aggressive Ron Burgundy in a onesie- grown man, not a baby- about the pronunciation of New Orleans
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
There were no words. I got in his car, took my pants off, threw my shirt out the window, and got things started. After we were done I collected my clothes, gave him a kiss, and crept back into my house.
You're like the sex ninja. How doesn't he love you?!
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
Randomize
