he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
They get 5 minutes to wear their speedos at the wedding
Oh my god I'll have to be really drunk for that
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
I met my future husband in an elevator. Think Hispanic version of Dr. Bunsen Honeydew from the Muppets, but with eyes like Michael Fassbender.
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
What procrastination leads to: I have submitted a third of my job applications this week with a BAC that would get me arrested
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
Randomize
