Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
Well I found out I was essentially dumped and replaced by a hipster and apparently offered a girl $95 to go out with me. In the spirit of the Olympics I will not be spending any time on the medal stand.
Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
Is it rude to say "I hate you because you live inside Hillary Clinton's asshole"?
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
My boss just offered me a vodka mixed drink at work I do not have a real job
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
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