Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
Randomize
