Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
My dog ate my bag of weed. Thats not the easiest call to the vet to make.
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
Oh we're fine. I made her a "sorry I peed on you" omelet.
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
I began mixing captain Morgan and jack daniels and called it captain jack sparrow. I puked. a lot.
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
Don't try to sleep with work colleagues because he won't be able to get it up and you won't be able to look him in the eye ever again
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
Randomize
