I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
she went apple picking. why dont we do cute things like that? let's go to a pumpkin patch!
because we're not cute. we're sluts. and sluts don't go apple picking.
We realized he wasn't with us anymore, so we turn around and he's 20 feet back, peeing on a squirrel.
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
You tried to prove you weren't drunk by loudly singing the romanian national anthem. Why the fuck do you even KNOW the romanian national anthem?
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
Why would I want a relationship when I’m the side dick for my boss and a few women from the gym
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