I saw your purple underwear in the road this morning.
you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
Will you bring a case of beer down to the hot tub? Me and Phil don't want to feel feelings anymore
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
Randomize
