I'm surprised I didn't puke tonight
my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
the women in the ladies room did not appreciate my innovation of turning a sink into a urinal
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
He's cheating on his wife, and he's judging me for eating McDonalds
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
Randomize
