Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
Man the liquor store just wrong numbered me, its a sign even god wants me to drink
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
He somehow managed to bang-mail me last night. I woke up this morning to a voicemail from 1:54 a.m. of moaning and screaming. I now know how talented he is and how annoying I am to have sex with.
You sprayed lysol all over me. You said that my soberness was infecting your night.
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off.
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
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