I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
I was cleaning up my drunken mess and I found my ID in a cereal box
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
Just delivered a pizza to a holiday inn and a delivery driver from Me n Ed's walked up at the same time, we both were going to the same floor so we stood in the elevator making small talk about delivery stuff, but a small part of me wanted to deck him, stand over him and shout,"FOR THE HUT MOTHERFUCKER, FOR THE HUT!"
Jesus christ, don't start a pizza delivery gang war.
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
Randomize
