Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
That fat broad you banged out last night is still here and I can hear her snoring through the living room wall. I would leave, but I don't want to come home to an empty fridge.
The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
Your mom has a birthmark right next to her nipple
Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
We can't have sex anymore. The amount of money I've spent on meds and copays for UTIs is getting ridiculous
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
The gyno waiting room is so strange because the pregnant woman next to me is making a PowerPoint of her pregnant photo shoot with her husband and I’m sitting here trying to figure out from Instagram who I had sex with on Sunday lol
Randomize
