We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
Three questions... How drunk were you? How long until we can make fun of you for this? Do you even really need a spleen?
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
Welp, I just herniated a vocal cord during sex. How was your night?
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
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