Already got asked if we're dating
What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
handjob tips. give me some.
I think I deserve the nobel peace prize for discovering that one should smoke before drinking instead of drinking before smoking.
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
Randomize
