So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
It feels like eating ice cream while riding a unicorn over a rainbow waterfall made of glitter.
That is possibly the gayest thing that was ever thought of by anyone anywhere.
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
Randomize
