I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
Oww! U thought rug burn was bad! Fuckin carseat burn hurts like a mother!!!
Wtf?
Use the slutty part of ur brain.
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
I got tossed from adult league soccer for telling a 55 year old I'd break his hip. I'm a productive member of society
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
So, I found your eyebrow, someone glued it in between my eyebrows so I looked like I had a unibrow when I went to work...
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
Randomize
