On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
Just seen a scantily clad pirate with 2 36 packs of natty ice on a bike riding with no hands. If she doesn't hit a speed bump she's golden and should be on the next Americas got talent.
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
Is it bad I'm drunk at orientation
You've been there for 12 hours, what are you supposed to be doing
Not be drunk
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
I think drunk me saved him in my phone as "beautiful man" to play a joke on sober me
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
Randomize
