Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
I'm drinking reisling in a paper cup by myself in the garage.
dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
I just closed two deals on my laptop from my bathroom while smoking a bowl, like a bawssss. Working from home is my favorite.
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
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