What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
He came up to me muttering about the pills on the bathroom floor... I found him an hour and a half later trying to take naked photos of himself with an alarm clock...
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
I didn't just randomly come up with it. But if you want to give me extra credit for creativity I have a bare chest and chocolate sauce left
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
I have an important idea to tell you when I'm sober about a cat scratching my nose once and what it taught me. DONT LET ME FORGET.
Randomize
