Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
Nothings more american than taking a shit with a handgun next to you.
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
My mom just woke me up with a cowboy hat and sunglasses on. It's 7 am and she's drunk.
when she didn't finish her burrito you wanted to call the cops because you said it was neglect
Randomize
